Who told you …?

It’s Valentine’s Day and, whether you plan to celebrate or not, we’re going to talk about you. Yup, we’re talking about loving yourself. So many times, so many ways we are told how to treat others – with respect, acceptance and non-judgement. How many times have you taken that same approach with yourself? I’m guessing never.

Have you agreed to be here? A lot of times we are going through life, just going through the motions, doing what we have to do, not really paying attention to what we need or want, we are just doing. To agree to be here, you need to get in the driver’s seat – you won’t go anywhere until you get behind the wheel!

We try to do the best we can for our own lives. To try to be healthy, to be happy, have a fulfilling career, raise our kids, etc. But we also need to be okay with where we are in our journey. We get stuck in the “I’ll be happy when…..” I’ll be happy when I lose weight, when I get a promotion, when my kids are older….. fill in the blank with yours. We all have them, and we need to stop! You need to be happy where you are. The time to be happy is right now.

We tend to focus on the parts of ourselves that we don’t like. How about showing some appreciation for what your body does and has done for you? When you look in the mirror, what is the first thing you think about what you see? Do you go right to your “flaws” and start the negative commentary? Or do you just avoid the mirror altogether? The things you say to yourself, would you EVER say them to anyone else? If you heard someone else saying those things to herself, what would you say? Try this instead: take a minute to just observe. Take a look at the things you are always complimented on. Can you see what others see? Are you able to accept your beautiful eyes, your curvy hips, your beaming smile? Are you able to *gasp* give yourself a compliment?

Can you look yourself in the eye and say “I love you and accept you exactly as you are right now”? Try it – it is a powerful exercise. You would say it to your kids, your mom, your sister, your best friend. So why can’t you say it – and mean it – to yourself?

Why is it so uncomfortable to focus on ourselves for just a minute? Who told you that you aren’t allowed to love yourself? It is so ingrained in us to avoid being conceited or narcissistic that we instead constantly belittle ourselves! It takes work to grow into self-acceptance. And it’s time to start showing yourself the same love you give to everyone else. Time to start loving those parts of yourself that you have hated for so long. Time to let go of all that negative self-talk and try a new way. Hating your body will never get you the results that loving it will.

Some things to think about and maybe even journal about: What is your inner story? Writing out your story can help you let go of old hurts, old trauma, and even help you realize what you’ve been hanging on to. Write about any kind of diets you’ve been on throughout your life. What worked, what didn’t, what experiences did you gain? Describe your relationship with your body and how has it changes from when you were a child to now. Think about all of your relationships and how they have affected you and changed you. Think about someone who had a big influence on your life – good or bad. What secrets have you been holding onto?

Some final thoughts: We are regularly changing and evolving, so we have to learn how to love ourselves, no matter where we are in our journey. It’s okay to feel good about yourself. It’s okay to love yourself. What will you do to accept yourself today?

See you soon!


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